PFSB in London Above

[herald_ingress]

The door slams behind Ingress as she strides into Milliways. She hesitates in front of the House of Arch painting, but if she goes there she'll cry and be coddled, and her sister will give her the look that always says "Come home, we'll figure it out, just come back home to us." There is no figuring it out, not even with Tom's help. She was chosen for a reason. She wants to be a Herald. She wants to be with her companion. She wants to be a part of her new world, her true home now. She wants and wants and never stops wanting.

And, oh, tonight, she is tired. Tired to the bone. Tired deep down to her soul.

The last time she came here, she laughed like she had when she was little with her practice sword and tutu, when everything was bright before her and nothing could go wrong. When she went back to Haven, no time had passed; Megwyn asked her why she hadn't gone after all. Ingress hadn't answered right away, and then she'd simply said "I changed my mind" and then changed the subject.

When Megwyn found her here, all those years ago, she had been broken, possibly beyond repair. Door had tried so hard to be everything her sister needed her to be, but she was, Ingress knows now, ridiculously young, and she had Tom to deal with, too, even though he tried his best to fix them both as they stumbled together into life as a family. But Ingress had shattered that day in the greenhouse when the blood rushed out from her mother's throat onto the roses, and she'd been snatched, kicking and screaming, away from her home. She'd broken into more and more and more pieces during her silent captivity; isolated, cold, and in the constant dark with nothing but scuttling spiders for company.

She'd tried to open the door for Islington when he had her brought to him. She'd tried so hard. But she was too little, and the door he wanted was too far away, and when he screamed at her, she'd tried again, tried so hard that her ears hurt and her nose bled, but it still hadn't been enough and back she'd gone into the dark. She was fed irregularly, and, after a while, she stopped crying. She stopped hoping. She stopped feeling anything at all. When Door saved her months later, she had to learn how to be a little sister, how to be loved, how to be Ingress again.

When Megwyn found her, when she chose her as her herald, the bond between them mended the broken parts within her enough that, with all the rest of the love and support from her family and friends, she healed quickly. Ingress came out of the dark that day, for good, in her mind and heart, and she lived and she laughed and she thrived.

But even when you're not broken, life isn't easy. Ingress has the blessing of a companion who is always - and will always be - there for her, but she's as lonely as any single young woman hoping with all her heart for more. Her  three week circuit had ended, and she was tired and wounded from a skirmish - nothing terrible, but enough to make her constantly aware of the ache on her left side that kept her from sleeping well. When she got back to her room, her heart full of hope and relief, the message basket beside her door was empty. Cassildra hadn't written. That made two months without word from her, and, what was worse, Mewgyn gently told her no when Ingress asked her to check in with her Companion, Talian, to see if Cassildra was okay. Which meant... which meant Cassildra wasn't going to write her. Ever.

Blast it all, it wasn't as if Ingress had insisted on a betrothal. She was deeply smitten, but she'd tried to play it cool, to not be clingy, as her ex-boyfriend had called her a year before. When Cassildra was posted indefinitely across the kingdom, she'd only had hoped for letters. And for something, maybe one day, more than an empty bed night after night.  But that was looking like it would be her fate.

It was hard for Ingress, even still, to fit in as someone from 'out kingdom'. Someone with strange hair and strange eyes and strange gifts who was oh so lovely, and such a gifted fighter, but never quite enough to secure a place in a beloved's heart.

She slumps onto one of the couches near the fireplace. There are times when she wonders if it would be worth opening the door that she keeps tightly shut within herself, the door with thoughts of her sister and her birth world and just what could be fixed and what couldn't behind it.

Or... maybe she'll get really, really drunk and not think about anything for a while, until her wide open heart pains her just a little bit  less.

Comments

[acrookedpath]

It occurred to Wei Wuxian, as he asked Madam Bar for an instrument stand suitable for both his flute and Lan Zhan's guqin, that Lan Zhan might have been humoring him. Maybe he couldn't think of anything else and only wanted Wei Wuxian to feel useful. He does not even need a stand to play his instrument most of the time. And when would he be playing it in the room, anyway? He has pushed Lan Zhan away so much that he will never play guqin for him again.

He still brought the stand to his room, moving it to a spot immediately visible from the door, but couldn't shake an awful hollowness as he stepped back to study its placement. This means far less than you think it does, he thought. He will probably not even use it.

He is a fool. He should just -- put all this from his mind and forget he even feels this way. Their affection for one another will remain as friends, and that is fine.

It's fine.

He slumps back down to the bar some time later to see about a late afternoon meal -- not so close to dinner that he will spoil his appetite when Lan Zhan arrives -- and spots a familiar flash of blue hair near the couches. He is about to turn away a moment, intending to compose himself a little better before going to greet Lady Ingress, when he takes a closer look to see her expression.

She looks about as miserable as he feels.

Quietly, he approaches. "Ingress?" he asks, clear concern written on his face.

[herald_ingress]

She immediately tilts her head up in response, and the smile that fixes on her face almost looks like her normal expression.

“Hi,” she says, and her voice wavers. “Hi, um. Rough day.” She tries again on the smile front because her muscles know what to do. Her face likes to smile!

But her eyes, which usually shimmer with bright flecks of turquoise and lilac and and yellow and blue are a flat aqua and they’re stinging with unshed tears.

“I’m in a bit of a mood, sorry, how are you?” She will be cheerful, damn it, because her new cheerful friend is here, and they will be cheerful together! Because being cheerful is much more pleasant than being morose!

(And seeing him does genuinely lift her spirits. She likes Wei Wuxian in the way that dear friends who have finally found each other and clicked into place in each other’s lives do.)

[acrookedpath]

Ah, Wei Wuxian knows that kind of forced smile all too well.

Case in point: "I am fine," he says, sinking onto the couch next to her. The concern doesn't fade very much. "You do not have to apologize. Is it anything you wish to speak about?"

[herald_ingress]

Boo hoo, her blessed life is so hard. Shame on her for this pouting.

Cheerfulness! That’s what she needs.

“Gods no,” she says, sitting up straighter and turning in towards him. “I’m just being maudlin.”

Hey, those are some pretty dark circles under his eyes. She frowns a little, worried.

“Are we a matching set today?”

[acrookedpath]

"Ah -- "

He tries for a smile of his own, well aware of how crooked it is. When he shrugs, his shoulders slump lower than before as they come down. "We may be. I am fine, I am just a fool. It is no great injury."

[herald_ingress]

“Ah, then, yes, we are.”

She pats the cushion beside her.

“Two ridiculous fools. It’s all right, really, I’m fine. Just doomed to be alone forever and odd and-“

She fiercely brushes a stupid fat tear away from her stupid strange face.

[acrookedpath]

"Oh," he sighs, and it is heavy, and full of sympathy. "Yes, we match far better than I believed today, Ingress. I am sorry. It is a terrible pain to carry."

He quirks a small smile.

"I do not find you odd, if that helps at all. I find you interesting and delightful."

[herald_ingress]

“That’s very sweet of you, and I do appreciate it. It’s just- I only want to be someone’s most special person, but no one will be mine.”

Her spirit rallies a little. “They’re missing out. Big time.”

[acrookedpath]

"They are," he agrees firmly. "Anyone who is petty enough to have no affections for you because you're odd is a much bigger fool. I doubt very much you will be alone forever, Ingress."

[herald_ingress]

“I know. But my heart isn’t convinced right now. Why do we have to have the stupid things anyway?”

[acrookedpath]

"Aiya, that is an excellent question," he says with another long sigh, hunching forward to put his elbows on his knees. "I think it may be a question best answered with some wine. Would you like me to fetch some?"

[herald_ingress]

“I was just thinking it would be the best of ideas to drink my way through the next several hours.”

A little more of her usual sparkle returns. At least she won’t be drinking alone! But if she wants to get completely and thoroughly drunk beyond the point of caring, Milliways doesn’t feel like the right setting, really. It’s so... small.

“Yes, please, get us some,” she says. “I may have an idea to propose when you get back.”

[acrookedpath]

An idea, hm? Wei Wuxian likes the sound of that, if the sly look he gives her is any indication.

"Then I shall return quickly," he says, and hops to his feet to head toward Madam Bar.

Mindful of his bad decisions the night before, he opts for only one bottle of Emperor's Smile and a pair of small cups -- they will start by splitting this one, then progress to more if the situation calls for it. No chugging two bottles back-to-back again. (Not yet, anyway.)

He returns, setting the cups on the small table before them and uncapping the bottle. "This is a favorite of mine," he says as he pours. "Emperor's Smile, from Gusu. It is renowned the world over."

[herald_ingress]

She clinks her wee cup to his and takes a sip. Her face lights up.

“This is really, really good, Wei Wuxian. I mean, exceptional.”

She almost finishes her wee cup with the next taste. Ingress is used to quaffing not sipping. But she’ll slow down and savor it.

“So. Idea. Would you like to go with me to a different world? A world that has a city with lots and lots of alcohol and interesting places to drink it?”

She thought for a moment about suggesting London Below for an escape, but then she remembered how big and strange and sparkling London Above can be. She hasn’t been there in years, since when the House of Arch family goes to the Topside, it’s usually to the Wizarding world and not the Muggle one.

They need a night out! London Above will be a perfect escape!

[acrookedpath]

Wei Wuxian has no such compunctions: he tosses back his own cup in two quick gulps and pours another. Midway through lifting it to his mouth, he pauses, eyebrows rising so high they nearly disappear into his hairline.

"I might be," he says, with the mock-thoughtfulness -- and the matching grin -- that say yes, absolutely, let's go right now.

[herald_ingress]

"Seriously?"

She's pretty excited, and her mind is racing with the diversion.

"Okay, but just so you know, it's a strange place. Very loud, very busy, and the people there can be awful. We'll need to wear different clothes. We don't have to, I guess, but it's a little easier. And, um, most of the people there will look straight at me, but not really see me. That's how it is with London Below and London Above; it's not a big deal."

[acrookedpath]

"I can handle strange, loud noises and awful people," he reassures her cheerily. "As well as different clothes. Will they not be able to see me, either, or is it only because you are from London Below?"

A place of forgotten things, he remembers Tom-gongzi saying.

[herald_ingress]

"They should be able to see you fine. This. Is. Going. To. Be. SO. Much. Fun," she promises, grasping his hand with a squeal of delight.

"Um. Okay. Okay, first, clothes. Bar can provide some for you, and I'll need to go to the House for mine. I'm definitely not wearing Herald whites for a night out. We'll go through the front gallery into London Below and then to the Topside. You don't mind me dragging you along with me? Truly?"

There are probably other things she needs to prepare for this spur of the moment trip, like, oh, money to buy the drinks she'd like to disappear into, but she has a few more minutes to remember that.

[acrookedpath]

Her delight is infectious, and Wei Wuxian's swiftly grows to match it.

"I do not mind at all," he assures her with a laugh. "You're not dragging me -- I will go willingly to drown my own sorrows with you. Here -- "

Quickly, he refills her cup.

"I will ask Madam Bar to hold on to the rest of this bottle, and if we still have the stomach for it, we will finish it when we return. Though we should endeavor not to have the stomach for it, I feel!"

He tosses back the rest of his own glass and gets to his feet.

[herald_ingress]

"Excellent idea!"

She drinks, making more appreciative noises as she does, and stands beside him as they make their way over to Bar.

"We should probably plan on eating a little first. Bar, would you give me some chips I can take with me?"

A cone of piping hot fried potatoes appears for her, and she devours one, licking the salt off her fingers.

"Chips are the best. Even when I'm at my saddest, I can be hungry for them."

She knows why she's sad, and she should probably at least ask what's going on with him before they run away like this. But they're both genuinely smiling now, and questions will lead to not smiling, she's sure of it. So none of those for now!

[acrookedpath]

"I haven't tried those yet," says Wei Wuxian, peering with avid curiosity at her food. "Madam Bar, may I have some as well? And clothes that would fit well with -- London Above, you said?"

A second basket of steaming-hot chips materializes; so does a set of chopsticks, for the sake of his own comfort. A folded bundle of clothing and a pair of sneakers pops up next to them. As he idly picks up the chopsticks and uses them to snag a chip from the basket, he examines the complex pattern of lacing up the front of the shoes.

"Perfect," he says, nodding approval, and pops the chip in his mouth with all intention of moving on to look at the rest of his new clothes.

Instead, he stops, eyes wide as he gets a good taste of the food.

[herald_ingress]

"Right??? Oh, the chopsticks are a great idea," she says, although truth be told, she doesn't mind licking the salt off her fingers. A pair appears for her and she mimics his actions, grinning as the salty greasy goodness explodes on her tongue.

Those sneakers are an excellent idea, too, she thinks, and tries to remember where a pair might be in her room.

"Ready? Let's go!"

He can get through the painting on his own now, thanks to Tom, but she loops her arm amiably through his when it's time to go through the painting to her childhood room. It's bright room of yellow and purple and white with accents of glitter. So much glitter. Her childhood toys, books, and practice weapons live on the shelves now instead of the floor, and the walls are covered with cute Wizard rock boys striking stylish poses on posters, artwork Ingress made over the years, and random pretty things that she liked and wanted to display.

She points to the lavender privacy screen (painted with a glittery rendition of a unicorn, of course) in one corner of the room.

"You can change there, unless you want more privacy?"

She heads for her overstuffed wardrobe, picking up the blue feather boa that trails onto the floor with great fondness before opening the doors.

[acrookedpath]

Well! It's certainly a very... jaunty room. Wei Wuxian will not judge; Ingress is a very jaunty person, after all.

"No, this is fine," he says, and ducks behind the (incredibly sparkly) privacy screen. In short order, a set of black robes, then red robes, then trousers flop over the top of the screen; he kicks his boots off and tosses his belt alongside them.

Briefly, he considers fetching his flute after he's changed, just in case -- but where would he put it? The clothes Madam Bar gave him are... really rather snug. Especially the trousers, which are made of a stiff indigo cloth that makes him feel more like he's breaking in a new pair of boots than a new piece of clothing.

Moments later, he emerges, shrugging on the last item Madam Bar gave him (a black zip-up hoodie) and pulling his hair free of the fabric.

[herald_ingress]

“You look super cute,” Ingress says approvingly as she switches places with him behind the screen.

“Oh, I know,” she says, tossing her white tunic and trousers to drape beside his robes. “We’ll have to take a picture. Tom has a camera. That way if you ever wanted to show anyone what you looked like on your night out in London, you can.”

She steps out from the screen wearing a chic black dress that hugs her shape and shows off the muscles of her arms, as well as plenty of her long legs. She looks fit and strong and fierce. It’s a shame she won’t catch anyone’s eye tonight due to the nature of the Underside.

Standing in front of her vanity, she executes swift and sure movements with thin brushes dipped into pots. More glitter comes into play, but she was taught by Lilly Kane herself how to rock a look, so it looks fetching and not feverish.

She makes a face at herself in the mirror as she gathers her hair on top of her head. She never knows what to do with her hair.

“Up, down, or braided?”

[acrookedpath]

By now, he's used to the standards of modesty at the inn and how they vary from his own world; still, he is temporarily struck speechless when Ingress walks from behind the screen.

(Somewhere in the back of his mind, he can practically hear Tom-gongzi clearing his throat meaningfully and reminding Wei Wuxian that this is his daughter, which is enough to chill any thoughts before they get too far.)

"You look very nice as well," he says quickly, as respectful as he can. "Ah -- down, I think?"

He unfastens his own hair and gets to work re-tying it, capturing the loose strands that have escaped throughout the day.